With dreams of putt-putting off on our dinghy to sweet swimming locales, we purchased a ladder especially designed for inflatables at last February’s Miami Boat Show. And wisely (as it turns out) we decided to test it in a little cove near our mooring at Hartge’s. Here we are below, cheerily starting out on our journey to the testing grounds.
It turned into a comedy of errors. Make that ERRORS! First, Cliff read the printed instructions that came along with the “Rescue Ladder” apparatus. Seemed pretty straight forward. And the video we’d seen at the boat show made the process look pretty easy. Then we set out in the dinghy to test the contraption. (You see how I am leading you to understand the dilemma we faced.)
I slipped into the water and Cliff deployed the “Rescue Ladder.” I stepped onto the first rung and it immediately swung my foot under the dinghy. We tried a zillion adjustments to the ladder before Cliff hoisted me back into the dinghy. Inelegant is putting it politely. Indecent is probably accurate, as my bathing suit stretched downward on top and upward on the bottom — the physics of which I cannot understand. I was just grateful that he did not video my “landing.” I am sure it would have gone as viral as an eaglet hatching.
Despite my experience, Cliff decided to give it a go. Yikes. No better and I certainly could not hoist him back into the dinghy. We needed a new plan! I scurried (as much as you can in an 8-foot boat) to tie lines that might provide some leverage. Nothing worked.
Plan C or D or E…. Cliff instructed me to steer toward a far-off bank. (It seemed VERY far off to me.) Unfortunately, I hadn’t practiced steering with the electric engine and wasn’t very good at it….let’s make that I was horrible.* First, I sent the boat into a tight circle, then I accidently revved it up in reverse creating a wild bucking motion in the engine. Then a small fishing boat (that looked like it might have a real ladder) came by. I wanted to flag them down for help — but that was vetoed by you-know-who. Apparently, my frantic gestures to the boat was interpreted as a friendly wave so they just cruised past us.
Cliff decided that the best course of action was for him to pull the dinghy to shore. Apparently, he’d already gotten a couple of small slashes** from the propeller. He held this information back, so I was pretty sure the real reason was my total lack of piloting skills. That’s probably true.
We finally got to shallow water. The bottom was completely mucky. Cliff sunk to his knees with every step. But he could manage to hoist himself into the dinghy and shove off strongly enough to get us into deeper water.
I am sure we will both have a lot of aches and pains tomorrow. But today was certainly a memorable half-birthday!
*In my defense, I will point out that steering a boat with a 240 lb. man hanging onto the side may account for some of my difficulty!
**The engine we have is a tiny electric one, so the propellers are plastic and the cuts on Cliff’s ankle and foot were minor. However, we’d just seen a story about flesh eating bacteria killing a woman who got a cut at a Florida beach. Neosporin to the rescue!